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Yikes! There I was, late at night, listening to Bill Maher and his Politically Incorrect panel when filmmaker provocateur John Waters proclaimed he had a painting by serial killer John Wayne Gacy hanging in his guest bedroom. Needless to say, friends aren't likely to overstay their welcome. And suddenly, before you could say execution day, the talk turned to the Internet, and the dark underbelly of eBay, where all sorts of Gacy memorabilia are sold each day.
It was, I decided, high time we took a trip through the monster auction site's various categories to see what pushed our tolerance buttons. Here is a survey of some of the most disgusting, demeaning, perplexing and generally bizarre things I could dig up. This is, mind you, entirely subjective, and you'll undoubtedly unearth your own list of scummy subjects.
Love to love ya baby.
This one would have been a real cinch if I'd logged into eBay's adults-only section. But I didn't have to. There are (nudge nudge, wink wink) goods for sale in almost every category. What caught my eye was the Fine Teen Mannequin. "She really is a looker," we are told in breathless prose by the vendor. This vintage Decter mannequin was shown in panty hose and sexy lingerie.
Easy targets.
Oh no, not still Bill and Monica. Oh yes, this thing isn't over yet. I found the Monica Lewinsky cigar T-shirt, as well as the sex dollars that we're told were at one time banned from eBay.
Dr. Frankenstein, I presume?
Who stays up late at night to bid on glass human eyeballs (with realistically rendered veins), men's prosthesis (complete with original sock and shoe), a vintage transfusion embalming kit, and 19th-century medical pamphlets about uterine displacements? We know med students, historians and antique buffs collect this stuff, including the hygienic enema (box only, thank goodness) from 1903, but we couldn't help wondering who else is turned on by the strange brew.
Never say Di.
That's right, our lovely Princess Diana lives on in the hearts of eBayers around the world, who can choose from an official letter from the British Embassy in Washington, D.C., a "rare item" handed out only to those who signed the Book of Condolence following her death in Paris. You can also buy a couple of naked vinyl Dianas, originally issued by the Franklin Mint, but now stripped of their clothes and their dignity.
Holy horror.
Just this month, an eBay seller from Florida took home $89 for this little gem. "Charles Manson signed bible page of Leviticus. Obtained from Manson directly. I guarantee this authentic for life." Just for the record, there were only two bidders.
Cell sells.
A high bid of $202.50 took an "ORIGINAL, BRILLIANT COLOR ARTWORK FROM THE DEATH ROW CELL OF NONE OTHER THAN THE "KILLER CLOWN" HIMSELF, EXECUTED SERIAL KILLER of 33, JOHN WAYNE GACY! A great acquisition, we're told, for any self-respecting John Gacy or true-crime collection.
CAN YOU STOMACH THIS???? I DOUBT IT!!
So screams the ad for a CD-Rom oozing with more than 2,500 photos. We are promised crime scenes from real murders, accidents and suicides from around the world! The eBay seller says: "You may see some photos that will make you sick," noting the disk was "personally put together by myself and is not a manufactured CD."
Enough said.
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