eBay fell back on their old stand-by, Mendeleev's Periodic Table of Elements, to unveil two new PowerSeller levels last week at the eBay Live convention. Joining the ranks of Bronze, Silver and Gold PowerSellers will be two of the online auction industry's most beloved Transition Metals: Platinum and Titanium.
Platinum PowerSellers will be required to sell a minimum of $25,000/month, while Titanium PowerSellers will need to maintain sales over $150,000/month.
Evidently, after considerable time spent studying the issue and holding focus groups, eBay finally settled on the two new titles because of the their positive connotations. One can see that perception had to be carefully considered when naming eBay's most valued sellers. They certainly couldn't use Elements that were inert or gaseous.
As is their inclination, eBay will probably be complicating,...er,adding to their PowerSeller levels in the future. If they do, here are a few new levels you might see:
Copper PowerSeller: To maintain this status, seller must only list Dutch Auctions starting at a penny
Lithium PowerSeller: Depressed because they can't maintain Bronze PowerSeller status
Linoleum PowerSeller: These sellers haven't seen their floors in years because it's covered with eBay inventory
Nickel-Cadmium PowerSeller: These sellers need to be recharged from time to time and should not be stored in a warm place
Immodium PowerSeller: These sellers suffer the stress of constant eBay policy changes causing irreparable harm to their intestinal lining
Halogen PowerSeller: 50% brighter than regular PowerSellers
Helium PowerSeller: These sellers are very agile and light on their feet, but provide no contact phone number due to extreme embarrassment about their high-pitched voices
Sulfur PowerSeller: Seller maintains a high level of sales, but make sure you roll up your car window as you drive past them
Sanitarium PowerSeller: Eventually, all sellers attain this level
