The recent hiring of former NFL analyst Ahmad Rashad (married to Bill Cosby's TV wife, Felicia Rashad) to co-host the oft-talked-about-yet-rarely-seen eBay TV show, has set the tongues of Hollywood wagging.
A second pilot for the proposed series is being re-shot after a major retooling of the show by industry executives. The hour-long series is set to make its debut in the Fall of 2004 and sparking much conjecture about what form the show will ultimately take. Will it be part Reality TV and part Game Show? Part Comedy/Variety and part Sci-Fi? Two parts Vodka and one part Vermouth? If you're one of the VPs at Sony, who have been waiting for this show to hit the airwaves since 2002, you could probably use a Martini right about now.
Although finding any verifiable information about the show is like trying to find a credible California gubernatorial candidate, here's what we "think" we know so far:
- The syndicated program will be in the late afternoon/early evening time slot.
- The one-hour show will air 5-times a week.
- The duo of Ahmad Rashad and Molly Pesce (Ex of "The Daily Show") has been assembled to host the program.
If those specs don't make you rush to the couch and grease up your clicker in anticipation, perhaps these two bites from a recent SF Gate article will entice you:
{snip} EBay wants to inspire viewers to leave the living room, get online and start clicking, bidding and buying. {/snip}
A show that makes you want to get up, leave a room - and go to another room. Pretty inspirational! (and what if your computer is already IN your living room?)
And another:
{snip} EBay views the show as a way to extend its brand and drive traffic to its Web sites, rather than make money directly from the show. "We're more concerned about building EBay," {/snip}
Funny, all this time, I thought television was supposed to be entertaining and informative. If this is a trend, prepare for an onslaught of television programming branding Fortune 500 companies: The Streets of San Fran-Sysco, Walgreen Acres, Sex and the Citigroup...
Lord, take me now.
Because there seems to be a lack of direction with the new series, I've taken it upon myself to put together some suggestions, across different television genres, that may help eBay out of their creative jam:
The eBay Bunch
Two widowed eBay sellers marry and merge families - and inventory - to create one big stash of junk that fills up both bays of the garage. Comedy and chaos ensue as their 6 teenage children pitch in to make the family business a success. In a sub-plot, Agnes the housekeeper (eBayers can afford a housekeeper?) relentlessly pursues Sal, the UPS man, who makes daily stops at the family's residence to pick up outgoing packages.
I Snipe
In this socially conscious spy spoof, two retired Pentagon spies, who once globetrotted around the world having exotic adventures, now spend their days trying to out-snipe each other on eBay as they attempt to build world-class Hummel collections from their adjoining condos in Sarasota.
Uncle Griff's Neighborhood
Can you say "Safeharbor"? I thought you could. Each afternoon, kindly "Uncle" Jim Griffith invites us into his living room to teach us the meaning of NPBs, FVFs and NARUs. Your child will learn the alphabet in an entirely new sequence, and be able to form sentences without annoying verbs and pronouns (and in some cases, vowels). Imagine the pride you'll feel, when your toddler runs up to you for the first time, with eyes beaming, shouting, "ILY"!
Queer Eye for the eBay Guy
A team of 5 gay men invades the home of a different eBay seller each week and gives them, and their home, a makeover. Most of the program involves trying to get the victims out of their sweat pants and into street clothes, and vacuuming styrofoam peanuts from the rug.
But, one might ask, aren't these just revamped story lines from other television shows? OK, you got me. The point is: make the show FUN! Nobody wants to sit and watch a 60-minute infomercial five times a week. Well, maybe a Tom Vu infomercial - there's something compelling about a Vietnamese tycoon sharing the secret of how he built a fortune in real estate from his yacht while surrounded by bikini-clad models.
But that's just me.
This has been your Hollywood Minute.
