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Online auction buying and selling activity is kicking into high gear as we move into the holiday season. Many of us know what to look for in an auction to increase the likelihood of a smooth transaction: clear selling terms, good photos, stated refund policy, understandable shipping info. But what about things you don't want to see?
I've been looking at a lot of auctions lately, and here are my "Warning Signs for Online Auctions"!
1. Padded shipping. (And I don't mean with bubble wrap.) This might start off innocently enough: "Beautiful crystal bud vase - only $0.99!"
But scroll down a bit and you see: "Shipping will be $49.99."
The cost of the shipping can be many times the cost of the item itself. In this case, the shipping cost may be justified if the item is located abroad...as in, Mars!
2. Cranky seller syndrome. (Aka "CSS"). This seller may be a tad bitter, having been burned in the past by flaky buyers who ignore his terms. You may want to avoid this type of auction like the plague:
"I do NOT accept PayPal. I HATE PayPal. PayPal is the cause of the decline of Western civilization. In fact , do not use the words "Pay" or "Pal" in a sentence to me, EVER."
"NO personal checks. I HATE personal checks. Especially I hate personal checks with those stupid designs on them."
"NO international shipping. That means NO FOREIGN COUNTRIES! As in ACROSS the BORDERS!"
"Did you HEAR that, you MAGGOTS? I said NO CHECKS!! Now DROP and give me TWENTY!!"
This seller may benefit from joining a Secret Santa program on one of the eBay boards.
3. Iffy Delivery Policies.
"I only ship Tuesdays, Fridays, and Groundhog Days. Oh wait, Tuesdays I have yoga."
Or perhaps, the even more vague:
"You should receive within anywhere from two days to three years."
4. Packing and/or Handling Inflation.
"Shipping will be $3.85. Packing will be $4.85. Handling will be $5.85, or $0.05 per packing peanut I have to pick up. If the packing peanuts really piss me off, I reserve the right to jack up the fee another dollar or two."
As a matter of fact, I'd avoid sellers who say they use packing peanuts - they're more likely to have Cranky Seller Syndrome.
Poor spelling is not necessarily a cause for concern. And English doesn't have to be perfect for foreign sellers; after all, they must know enough to have figured out the rest of the auction process. Or, probably they do, anyway. However, whatever guarantees of authenticity you can obtain are useful. Some items just seem...
5. Too Good to be True.
"Genuine Tang Dynasty horse statue. AD 618. Carve very nice. Own by Napoleon George Washington, and Madonna. Come with genuine Kate Spade bag. Own piece of history...only 99 cent!!!"
Oh, and the shipping is $139.99.
6. Reflecto-Art.
This is where a seller takes a photograph of a shiny item they're selling, and they are...er, reflected in the photograph holding the camera. Hopefully, they're wearing something in the picture. If not, you may know more about your seller than you necessarily...er, wanted.
But seriously, there is a vast quantity of wonderful items out there for great prices. But if you feel Cranky Seller Syndrome coming on, get thee to a Secret Santa board.
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